Most people don’t remember their first Halloween. Their parents dressed them up in cute puppy or pumpkin costumes before they could walk. But I was 10 years old when I went trick-or-treating for the first time. I had been in the United States for a little more than a year, moving from temporary housing to temporary housing until we finally settled into a house. A few weeks before Halloween, my classmate Liz and her mom, who lived two or three blocks from me, invited me to go door-to-door with them. I raced home from the bus stop and dragged my mom to the fabric store. I carefully poured over dozens of costume patterns before choosing a classic clown outfit. (I can’t believe that’s what I chose!
While we roamed the neighborhood on Halloween night, I learned the ins-and-outs of trick-or-treating. At a spectacularly decorated haunted house blaring “Monster Mash,” Liz grabbed my hand and whispered, “You won’t believe this — they give out full-sized candy bars!” When the door opened, I followed Liz’s lead and cheerfully cried out, “Trick or treat!”
Liz and her mom were some of the first who really made me feel welcome and like I was just one of the neighborhood kids. Inviting me to go trick-or-treating was no big deal for them. For me? That Halloween and that gesture was the first time I truly felt like I was part of a community in my new country — that I belonged and was welcomed.
Despite disliking spooky stories or being scared, Halloween continues to be a special holiday for me because of its power to bring a community together. In my neighborhood, a few hours before sunset, we gather at the park for a parade. Kids, adults and pets walk proudly showing their costumes all the while pointing out silly, surprising or spooky costumes. At the end of the parade route, neighbors linger to chat while sharing popcorn and cider. My kids play with their friends before we have them over for a filling spaghetti dinner. In my parents’ block, my mom proudly informed me, she and my dad are judges for a pumpkin carving contest. Neighbors bring their own pumpkins and carve their masterpieces together. Their neighbors made sure to include my parents, the oldest members of the community.
All across the country at Halloween, people are out on the streets, greeting and talking to each other and building relationships. Neighbors open doors, greet each other warmly with “Happy Halloween!” and distribute candy as a friendly gesture. This is a great time to help your kids feel a part of the community and learn to be a good neighbor.
Help your child practice being a good neighbor during Halloween with these reminders:
- Greet each other. When a neighbor answers the door, use the Halloween version of hello: “Trick or treat!” I ask my kids to practice so that they can say these magical words with confidence and loud enough so our neighbors can hear.
- Say thank you. Make sure kids express gratitude at every trick-or-treat stop, no matter what: “Remember to say thank you — even though it’s not your favorite candy.”
- Respect people’s property. Encourage your kids to walk on the sidewalk, not through a neighbor’s lawn or garden. Explain to your child that your neighbors work hard to take care of their plants.
- Look for the light. Visit homes that have their porch lights on. “Not everyone celebrates Halloween. We should respect that different families do different things.”
- Don’t take more than what you’re offered. This goes along with saying thank you after receiving any candy or treats. “There are a lot of kids out tonight, let’s make sure everyone can have some.”
- Be a helper. Younger children love to help out and feel like they’re contributing to the family, their own personal community. Consider having them fill the candy tray, open the door or help you hand out candy. They then feel more involved and responsible, like a “big kid.” It also shows them that Halloween is about giving, and not just receiving.
Being a good neighbor also means following good safety rules, especially during a spooky time like Halloween. Here are some quick tips:
- Have a buddy system in place for kids and make sure no one goes off alone. Remind kids that an adult should always be with them.
- Don’t approach pets, especially ones you’re unfamiliar with. Nighttime can be spooky for animals too, so better to give them their space.
- Bring a flashlight and/or wear reflective clothing. This will help you be aware of your surroundings as well as help people and cars see you.
- Don’t enter someone’s homes without permission. Unless it’s a special neighborhood haunted house!
